When Is It Too Soon to Spend the Night? (Matthew Hussey & Stephen Hussey)

How many dates should you wait before going over to someone's house?

If you're worried it's moving too quickly and you're becoming "like a couple" (or even just too sexual) faster than you want, here's what you can do...

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[charlieaugust]

Going for a long walk is a fantastic idea. You’d be susprised how often you find the other person quite boring at the end of it!

[inactivated]

It is so easy to rush into a relationship with someone you are attracted to and someone who makes you believe that he is attracted to you too but it is very important to slow down in order protect yourself from being hurt. Life is not an easy game to play but you should play it only on the side of your interests and needs. Never compromise something that makes you lower your standards and tell you that you are not enough.

[heatherbadin]

Completely agree. I was invited over after the 4th date and it ended up that he never wanted to go out again, anytime I wanted to see him, I went to his place. The complacency was insane. Actually ended it today.

[kemigishaloyce]

When he has already shown you all the red flags but Red is your favorite color 😜

[gabriellerivera]

About 8 or 9 years ago (I was becoming frustrated being chronically single going on dates with guys that never amounted to anything), one of my closest friends told me “it won’t matter if you sleep with a guy on the first date, or on the 100th date… if they are interested, they will want to be with you.”

[jenniferan]

Conversation is the birthplace of connection, Physical Intimacy can blind us to the lack of emotional intimacy in the early stages...bloody brilliant! Thank you both for this video:)

[Nah-ah]

I’m pretty lucky where my then date, now husband and I, been together since our 1 night stand...and have been together almost 16 yrs later! 😊

[marciamellow]

Had my new guy over first night out... we married 2 / half years later stayed married 40 years, until he just suddenly passed... miss him.. I think you know. We had a fabulous life... he left me very blessed!

[SamElle]

My thought is whether or not you sleep with someone earlier on in the dating process versus the later process, if a guy wanted to leave, he would leave later on regardless of how long you waited. I don't think there's necessary a "right" time and it's more so, when you think you feel like you can trust the person. I personally know that I get attached if I spend the night with someone so I try to push it to later on stages of dating, after I have gotten to know someone, but if you don't get attached, I don't really see an issue with spending the night earlier on

[bjoyzqo]

Dating these days is like Russian roulette.

[christinea]

And that's why I'm waiting until marriage. All my past relationships and situationship were revolved around sex to the point where sex didn't mean anything to me anymore. I didn't see my body as a temple. I'm currently working on myself because I want something different. I deserve better <3

[livingstoneoteng]

6:08 "Relationships with solid foundation arise out of an abundance of conversation"
Nice!

[IEVAKambarovaite]

So true. When you like someone you don't necessarily want to rush. It feels too special.
I like Carrie and Aidan's scene in Sex and The City where he's taking his time and she gets all suspicious that something is wrong.
That's what modern dating does to us sometimes. Everything is so rushed and fast food-like.
I think taking the time can be extremely sexy x

[joannachimonides]

Going to his house on a first date it's like going to the lion's den

[samanthab]

There are so many factors that can determine whether becoming physically intimate is appropriate. Some people meet and have incredible chemistry in person and spend many hours talking about everything under the sun. It would make sense that after only a couple of dates like this, being physically intimate 'feels right'. Others may take more time warming up/ opening up to people simply for personal reasons, and so they would need to take it slower.

[sherryj]

Casual dating is not for me. I trust my intuition and my gut

[lyon]

Ive met someone who chased me and I decided to sleep with him early. I knew I could get feelings for him so I did it to see if he would treat me different or lose interest and nothing changed. Same momentum with contact and hes still planning to see me dates in advance. Its early days but so far so good!

[CeCeW]

Glad to have found this video. I feel like guys keep pushing to move into the physical stage too quickly and they feel that asking to slow down and build the emotional connection is too much to ask. It has made me feel very uncomfortable because I am dating to find a serious partner and I don't see the need to rush. I want to see if we really like each other and connect on a deeper level first.

[jodirowe]

I’ve had so many offers to “come to my house for dinner, no sex I promise” He either pushes and pressures me, or tells me that I’m guarded and no fun. I’ve also had men not see me any longer because I didn’t sleep with them by the 3rd date. It feels as though men do not value intimacy, just inter course. Obviously these men didn’t mean it when they said they wanted a solid, long term relationship

[blackpanter]

If both are securely attached mature people, sleeping together on a first date is open so long as you both are on the same page with what it is you're looking for. In general, most people aren't securely attached let alone mature so waiting is usual best.