I swore my family's dysfunction and abuse would stop at me and I thank god my son is a happy adult with a normal family of his own..
theharringtons
Growing up in my household, mistakes were considered a moral failure on behalf of the person making them. Makes sense as to why I never tried to do anything. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't. So, I froze. That's how I survived. Now, I have to fix this in adulthood. I'm not getting what I want out of life because I'm hiding, living in constant fear of persecution, even though that narcissistic family member isn't around anymore.
almondmilksoda
Thank you for the clear explanation of Narcissism and projection of shame. The absolute avoidance to face their own shame is a constant.
NanaWilson-pxij
My father has been doing this for a really long time he denies everything bad he's ever done to me & acts like he's holier than thou and a goody 2shoes . He doesn't give a damn about me his son he only came back into my life to use mind control . Don't want anything to do with him! He's done nothing but bring the worse out in me he also secretly betrayed me with people who claim they were my friends & family .
mikesmith
I was an only child and had abusive parents..both parents blamed me, shouted at me frequently, beat me as a child for minor naughtiness or disobedience. I often had shame that the neighbours can hear the shouting and what will they think? I had shame that the cane marks will be visible on my arms and legs and the kids in school will ask. I had a lot of shame, and anger. My parents fought with each other as well over minor things. There was no alcholism or vices, in fact both were very self righteous church goers ! As i grew up i had a sense of anger and revenge against them. When my father was in his eighties he came to live with me. I took him in and cared for him, but i berated him, shouted at him and beat him for minor annoyances and disobedience. I was having my revenge and loving it. When he asked me why am i so rough with him, i reminded him of all that he had said and done to me my whole childhood. Guess what....he denied everything and said that he had only given me love ! Unbelievable. I dont know whether he really lived in denial or he felt it better to deny the truth. Any insights ?
For me, i found peace in a happy marriage to a calm man, and did not repeat this behaviour. I found peace in the revenge i had on my father when he fell into my hands. Perhaps that makes me a bad person ?
graphitetalk
I kind of confronted my father and he replied with anger and disgust at me and said “ that’s just the way things were done back in those days”
No accountability and kind of gaslighting.
I’m keeping the peace at a far distance in hope I’m still in there will lol. And to be honest I don’t think I’ll even cry at his funeral
steve
So true they hide behind darkness( lies/shame). The child then is put in the dark they create.
bengoodes
First of all ….narcs take no accountability, save your breath trying to get thru to their demonic minds 👹
robiness
"i would never hurt my family" says every abusive alcoholic
uk
"I have never hit any of you"
My mother ten minutes after leaving a red handprint on the back of my leg.
She even kept her rings on
winterwulf
I can see this as b3ing the case with my narcissistic mother who scapegoated me. But i cant see it being the case with the "best friend" i had who was in fact my worst enemy in desguise. A narcissist. He saw me when my guard was down, and knew from the getgo what he wzs goi g to do with me. From the love bombing, to the devaluation, then to the discard. He left with everything. He left with my soul, with my identity. He stole my friends. He took everything and left me in pieces.
You know, it can be very invaldiating for codependents to say that narcissists react out of their own trauma. It excuses them. Some people are evil. When Paul bernardo chose certain victims for him to murder, he knew what he was doing. My "friend" used to laugh about how he put a goldfish in a bleach. I once saw him beat a dog with a stick. There are simply evil people in the world. They are spoken about in fairy tales, the wolf dressed up as grandma to eat red riding hood. They are cunning, they are tactful, and they are children of the devil, destined for hell. That is the God honest truth. Psychology does not speak about good and evil, but religion does.
gd
I rained hell on my abusive father when I got older. I suggest everyone do the same. Not hurt them physically, just get up close and personal with a few choice words they will never forget lol
Cookie-Yeah
I just wish I could find a roommate so I can get out of my family's house. It's just too much of their toxic behavior. Of course, I'm not gonna type the whole story about what's going on. But I've been depressed lately and can't take it anymore being near my "relatives". Never thought I'd even sleep on the streets on 3 occasions and nobody in my family seemed to care. Me ending up homeless, I see it as a possibility. I don't know why a lot of people say "ALL" parents are "loving" and "caring" when that's not the case.
xtrm
Extremely insightful video. Deserves far more views
LoverOfManyArts
Becuz they were never a real parent in the first place
jamesdenman
Thank you so much for this. So useful to me on this very dark day.
Oughut
Forgiveness is universal and reciprocal….how u judge, u will be judged…if u want peace, give it ❤️
lisaculver
Because my mom abanonded me at age 6 (she left because my dad was abusive, but then didn't rescue me from him) I ended up growing up with my abusive dad.... and his abusive mom. She was probably why he was abusive. So now I have 2 of them. And the abuse wasn't just emotional and physical, it was also sexual. My dad would do things, and my grandma would tell me it was my fault, that I seduced him. So not only was I abused, I was told it was my fault I was abused, that I had "asked for it". I don't know where to categorize my mom. She knew what was going on. She knew both my dad and grandma were abusive. She knew that by leaving me, I would be stuck with both of them. But she never came back to rescue me. Instead she waited until I was all grown up, moved out on my own, and then popped back into my life.... only to tell me to move back in with my dad so I could cook, clean and basically be his wife all over again.
desktopkitty
What if they do say they are sorry and they do stop the abuse, but they don't want to keep talking about it as they say they are too ashamed, they just want to never do it again, and be better? Is it likely? Does it ever warrant forgiveness or is it broken, and needs to be "no contact"?
Foxytrot-sxvd
Well it's eclipse coming now I can close the cycle, wish me luck, it's a sweet video for me. Now I get it what happened to me and to this lineage. Thank you so much this is such a great insight for me.
