Its called self-medicating. We want a release. We want freedom from the constant state of alert. The world is chaotic, and doesnt always make sense ro us. We dont have an "addictive" personality. We crave a feeling of relaxation, of less stress. Its so hard masking, and living in a world not meant for neurodivergent people. It isnt easy. At 56, I have realized that we arent at fault for self- medicating. We just have to learn others ways to manage.
kathyb
Thank you for recognizing that everyone is different! Cannabis helps my adhd symptoms and helps me sort my feelings out rather than ignore them. I respect that it doesn’t help others the same way that it helps me, and some people are better off without it!
juliaoleynick
I have ADHD, severe anxiety & depression. I’ve been smoking everyday since I was 13. I just quit 3 months ago. That addictive personality is no joke. It helped me for awhile but I turned into a zombie like you said. Now I have healthy coping tools, I’m getting back to myself. I’m more outgoing, cause I’m not worried about people knowing I’m high. It was the toughest thing I’ve done, but also the most rewarding. Thank you for putting my thoughts into words. ❤
exrthyxbxbe
It‘s really interesting how different AUDHD effects us!
I am a daily cannabis user for a long time (late diagnosed) and what it does for me:
It helps calming down so that I can actually work on and with my emotions. Otherwise I would be overwhelmed and unable to find the most urgent issue I‘m struggling with.
I love your videos and I‘m really really thankful for you and your content.
Because of you I started feeling myself again and, after years of being disconnected to my feelings and needs, now I too know, that I don‘t have to change me to get the love that I deserve.
carmenseidl
I am struggling with the same thing. It’s so hard to stop because it relaxes my anxiety.
ellakanner
Haley, seriously....thank you for posting this video! Your honesty and matter of fact delivery and non-judgemental attitude are so uplifting!❤❤❤
suepatrick
appreciate you sharing this - i had the same experience and quit 4 years ago after years of chronic (ha...) use. All of the benefits I convinced myself it was giving me (relief from anxiety, slowed down thoughts), it was actually exacerbating and stalling my emotional development. Kudos to you.
fhobbs
Tysm for this! I'm audhd and I just got sober 1 week ago. It's been really hard but I'm trying to find the strength to keep going and to be able to face the demons I was running from with weed ❤
ShadowDisorder
I had to go through the same thing some time ago. It's hard to quit because you get used to not being able to relax without smoking. Or even that you can't fully feel joy without it.
The first week, I basically could not sleep at all. Maybe an hour or two some nights. I was irritable. I was depressed. I was coughing because my lungs were trying to clean themselves up. It sucked.
But if you can make it past that first 7-10 days, you've passed the peak, and gradually things go back to normal, and your brain starts to figure out how to chemically rebalance itself.
Not long after quitting, I realized I was actually happier, both in general, and for the individual activities that I would normally get high for. I was enjoying shows and games more because I wasn't spacing out 90% of the plot. I started organizing my life more and setting (AND ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISHING!) goals for myself.
For me, also an AuDHDer, I realized cannabis was kind of a way to steal happiness from my future to experience a small percentage of that feeling now. And the more I smoked, the less of that joy I actually felt. It was just slightly less stress... sometimes.
It wasn't worth it, but the huge increase in stress and anxiety I would get as soon as I stopped kept me smoking for way too long. I was too afraid of feeling like that forever.
TL;DR If you're trying to quit, if you can push through that first 7-10 Days, the hardest part will be over, and a more fulfilling life will be in reach.
MatStevens
Jesus... this came up as im thinking of quiting. Is like you spoke to my soul. Weed is clutch for my adhd and autism. But im so scared
nathasha
I would love for you to make a longer video about this!!
I’ve definitely struggled with overusing cannabis. Binge eating was the biggest issue, the first time I stopped using it long term I lost almost 80lbs without making a ton of other changes- I was just eating that much when I smoked! There were other issues too- lack of interest in doing anything, spiraling thoughts, paranoia…
In the last year I started smoking again but was doing it sparingly at first, but sure enough it crept back up to the point where I was smoking daily and felt like I couldn’t stop. Literally yesterday I told myself I was done again, and I already feel better and more in control!
With adhd (i don’t know if I am autistic or not) I already struggle so much with executive function, emotional regulation, dopamine eating, etc.. I definitely don’t need something that makes all of those things worse!
clairedaniels
I’m glad that you share this side of dealing with neurological disorders- not to say addiction always accompanies it, but I also experienced it. ❤
kotacrochets
I used to be that way but I have chronic pain too so instead I just follow guidelines to consume and restrict it to certain times. At first that was hard but I found a timed lock box that has a mode where it can’t be unlocked early that helped me force myself to stick to my schedule. Now there are days I can go without, even multiple in a row, and it’s less smoking per session too with the lower tolerance. Learning the right self control is important tho. Each person is different for what works for them
hotmessmasta
I am the opposite with cannabis! I tend to be pretty hypervigilant and socially anxious, so if my thoughts and perception start to dull I feel out of control and start panicking. Alcohol also does this for me, but less so. I need to be in a safe, comfortable environment with people I trust to enjoy getting drunk or high.
emewyn
I have ADHD and I was a heavy cannabis user. I quit over 6 months ago now and that’s actually when I finally pursued being diagnosed and getting treatment. I was absolutely smoking to quiet my mind. I am learning how to manage my ADHD and anxiety and find joy without being in a haze!
chelseavanhoof
That's fantastic! I use it, but I mostly use it for severe nausea (cyclic vomiting) that impacts my eating or chronic pain (hEDS). But that's mostly on weekends because I work in a school and can't really use it during the week. Makes me super drowsy.
limalicious
Thank you! I was considering it and you just gave me an excellent signal to give it a try.
I think I needed it to let my mind calm down, and then to get used to the calm, and then to work on my literally-crippling anxiety (on top of AuDHD) in that calm, and now... Yeah, I think this is the moment when it makes sense, because only now do I want to do more (instead of less) with my life...
mack-about
Great question. Very long story short. I went from sleeping at 5am. To that being when I wake up. Its knight and day
Guy.Not_guy
I have found that a clear answer to “why am I consuming this, this way, in this amount” has always been key to having a good relationship with a substance. For cannabis it’s usually managing chronic pain, gi issues, executive functions, or sleep. Sometimes it’s connecting with other people or connecting with my body.
I’ve been a medical user for 15 years. I’ve regularly had to evaluate my relationship with it. I have found that it can be a bad relationship in any amount and a good relationship in any amount. Especially with how flexible tolerance is and how it works in the body.
Cannabis’ relationship to our endocannabinoid system can be really useful for at least some neurodivergent folk! Folks like Dr Riley Kirk and Dr Miyabe Shields have lots of helpful information for those of us who’ve found it helpful.
nessamurmur
It’s weird, I am not an addictive person despite being predisposed (ADHD) like, I had to quit smoking because of a job and I just did it, and moved on. Now I can smoke weed for a day or two and get back to normal. While I may not abuse it I do use it as an avoidance technique too, like when I have too much to do I’ll be like “hm. Could smoke a joint.” But at the same time I don’t feel compelled to smoke everyday or even often. The same thing has happened with cigarettes and alcohol for me, however I will say I have a problem binge eating/overeating- that’s my one vice I can’t break free of unfortunately.
