Slasher Fail

The Night Gesturer stalked from house to house, hoping to find someone to threaten. Every year he would sharpen his blade and polish his mask until the plastic cheekbones glistened in the motion-sensor lights of backyards across the city. He'd grow his fingernails extra long, all the better to scratch the sliding door glass - or mimic the ripping of guts and rending of flesh. But as he collapsed on the patio tiles, crimson leaking from his throat and pooling in the tracks of grout, all he could think of was whether his story would ever make a good true crime podcast. Was gesturing really enough in this day and age? Would it even merit a 3-part Netflix series? "I should have probably gutted some of them," he thought as his last breaths evaporated from the inside of his mask. "Gutted a few and gestured at the others."

[Lucas]

The calls are coming from outside the house!

[bird]

Imagine driving by as they're filming this and you see someone holding a knife outside the window

[joshuasmith]

It;s always a treat to read the descriptions of your videos. Great work as always.

[theactivist]

I'm glad you guys are doing these again. Been a fan for a long time. Keep rocking on!!!

[mikesworld]

Huh, never knew Zoran was a mime. It tracks.

[WyattS]

This is proof that 5SF is still amazing. Absolutely hilarious

[Esitaro]

Remember kids, not everyone can be a slasher killer

[AbbreviatedReviews]

This is why you should keep your nail trimmed.

[EeveeEuphoria]

note to self: don't mix up which hand has the invisible knife

[dynamowill]

This is why we keep our nails trimmed, children

[huyphan]

Milk and Serial but they forgot the bowl

[Tootiefrootietortalini]

He probably should keep his nails filed 💅🏻

[Tranceplant]

A representative image of the cutthroat movie industry.

[blessings]

The blood in the grout was tested. It was corn syrup and red dye. He came out of the sugar coma and jumped out of the coroner van at red light...he

[germanvisitor]

Typical rookie mistake.
Haven't we all been there?

[yotoddy]

Why have so many classic 5secondfilms been removed!?!?!?!?!

[Iceman]

Cool. But is it going to get above 11k views?

[TheAutisticrats]

Is this a lesban story where they cut their hair short and spike it up and pretend to be middle aged oil field worker 🤔