AITA for exposing my mom's lifelong grudge against me? #aita #reddit

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[VictoriaReadsReddit]

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I'm (21m) the middle child of five siblings. And I always knew my mom treated me very differently from the rest of my siblings. It caused my parents marriage to end because my dad made it very clear he wouldn't tolerate her being so different with me. This was after he tried to figure out why she was so different with me. A few close family knew and said it was PPD from when she had me, that apparently only affected her ability to bond with me and not any of my four siblings, just me, the middle kid. I have a sibling one year younger than me and she bonded with her just fine.

I was a teenager when I got into a fight with mom one day and she accused me of always hating her and never wanting her to be happy. I asked what the f*** she meant by that and she told me that I had to come on the one day she had other plans, that it was bad enough I was overdue when I was born, but I prevented her from reading a book that released that day that she'd made plans to read months in advance. She told me I just had to be born that day so she was too tired to read it on the release day and she was weeks behind. She said I couldn't even be born normally like my siblings and I was a c-section baby. She told me it f***ed her plans so bad and I never seemed to care. Then she mentioned how much I cried when she was around and how good I did with dad. She said I made her seem like such a monster and none of my siblings were like that. She told me I clearly always wanted to come between her and dad. She was pretty serious about it too. She said I started f***ing her over the day I was born.

It really shocked me when she told me all this. At first I didn't/didn't want to believe it. Dad and I even did a DNA test around that time because we were like, maybe she's making up a dumb reason so we won't know she cheated, but I'm definitely dad's kid. DNA confirmed it.

My relationship with mom is as bad as the day I was born apparently and I get a hard time from some family friends and extended family members who see me not being close with my mom as me being s***ty to her for no reason. They put the bad relationship on me and at my grandparents house on Saturday I got so tired of the comments and mom sneering at me the whole time, they I exposed what she said to me when I was a teenager and the blame she put on me being born the wrong day for our bad relationship. Mom half admitted it because she got so angry she verbally lashed out at me. It created a s***show and some family members think I made a big deal out of nothing but others were disgusted with mom.

I was told I was wrong to expose her like that. Mom told me I had no business doing that. So I ask. AITA?

[jamesconnolly]

If this is true, that mother is a narcissist. This seems like the kind of thing that my dad's ex would be bothered by.

[lynnhobbs]

No she needs help. Has spent 21 years hating a child

[aNovice]

HOLY I'd never heard anyone else having this problem!!!! 😮
My mom reminds me EVERY YEAR that I was born on the wrong day. She always says "happy ACTUAL birthday". She only filled out one page in my baby book and all it says is "you won't stop crying. Not like colic or anything. More like you just don't like any of us and don't want to be here." I'm the middle child as well and was heavily abused which at 19 resulted in my mom putting a gun to my head and trying to kill me. Not sure whether me having the "wrong" birthday was the problem or just some severe mental health issues but crazy to hear that someone else had this problem

[juliej]

I know TWO people that were hated by their mother: one mother got pregnant in the 50s, and was forced to marry. She hated her oldest son until the day she died. Unfortunately, I was married to him. The second is one of my closest friends from high school. Her mother hated her. The only thing I know is that it was her her first daughter after having three or four boys, and the father said they was going to be a new queen bee in the house. I hope you’re in therapy.

[acuriouswriter]

I’m sorry that is just narcissism, and to those who relate in the comments, a literal innocent baby is not responsible for the parent’s feelings. It sounds like common sense, but I’m often having to remind myself of my status as a child or innocent kid in memories that pop up occasionally. I’m a mother of two now and it really shifted my perspective on abuse or even just general frustration or anger when it comes to children. Here’s to breaking the generational trauma cycle

[MiaMaraa]

I'm stopping at "born in a wrong day" 😂 not your fault what day was you born

[ilovebeinagirl]

You mother is a narcissist. Get away from her and STAY away from her. She will never change.

[goldengirl]

Mom was wrong Wrong !!!! Very sad that she had "postpartum depression " If that is actually true. Oh dear young lady, I am so sorry this happened to you

[NNHello-crwf]

It’s funny it’s almost as if the baby was planned months if not years in advance

[STARVHUBS]

There aint no way someone is such a terrible person, they refuse to ahve a relationship with their own kid for being born the day a book came out🙏
Literally is something so so stupid, sucks ik people who keep grudges like this.

"ITS YOUR FAULT I COULDNT READ THE 5TH EDITION OF A BOOK SERIES I LIKE!!!👿👿👿"

[kazoosc]

NTA
.. your mom is the one who treated you differently for no reason ... I mean, really, *_I couldn't read a book on its release date because I had to deliver you_* .. what kind of "reason' is that? you can't read the book later?

[Dizi]

What's to bet the book was Harry Potter?