Are you in Love or is it a Trauma Bond? Trauma Bonding explained

Most times when you're in a toxic, unhappy relationship and you cant bring yourself to leave you feel that its because you're so in love. But often times that's not the case, love is supposed to be healthy and comfortable and if you feel the need to constantly get away but cant seem to stay away then its because you have bonded to the trauma of the volatile relationship.
With this video I'm hoping to raise awareness for you to understand the dynamic of your relationship and heal and break all the traumatic bonds that are holding you back from a happy fulfilling relationship.

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#traumabonding #lovevstraumabond #mentalhealth #coaching #lifecoach #toxicpeople #emotionalintelligence

[Analysis_Paralysis]

Intermittent reinforcement (inconsistency) is literally what creates trauma bonding. And breadcrumbing/ghosting strengthens it! Unhealthy communication where one is giving the other silent treatments and casual attention, going back and forth between withholding affection and being "kind", (triangulation, lies, manipulation and dishonesty in polyamory where a third/fourth/fifth party is involved which erodes someone's sense of safety), all of this reinforces unhealthy attachment. I'd previously been educated on these phenomena and still fell for it recently, because I trusted this person way too soon / too much, as he'd been using grooming techniques in the beginning and I'd been ignoring my intuition consistently.
And now, this ableist f*ck is running around and using wrong labels to refer to trauma bonding and accusing and pathologizing me, after he's silenced/threatened me.

Proud of you, Hammasa jan! ❤ It's beautiful that you're so knowledgeable on these issues and using your platform to bring awareness.

[annaaurora]

A tramma bond is "inconsistent reinforcement of Love" bingo! Glad I finally got this! I got bread crumbs...while I kept thinking I'd get the loaf eventually.

[AlejandraRamirez-pkzl]

This guy is super nice with everyone, but ended up being very aggresive with me, he is also alcoholic. I ended up feeling so ugly, bad cook, just not good enough.

[malala]

Love the way you explained everything so clearly ❤️

[davidimes]

So much truth in this amazing video. You have a wonderful way of explaining a complex subject.

[cut]

I really wish I had someone to speak to about my trauma bonding .. :( no one otherwise will understand how hard it is to get out of it

[HaHaLooLoo]

Queen. Thank you again, your words are so encouraging and calming. Thank you Hammasa I cant wait for this space to blow up, quality content.

[Calidore]

Well, people who have found a stable somewhat uninspiring relationship should be using whatever love or positive emotions have grown to stimulate a more progressive and productive outlook. Love is only boring if you let it sit and get stale.

[zainabsafi]

And that’s why research shows that people who are unhappy with their relationship are feeling better than those who are divorced. They are not aware of the consequences.

[realopinion]

Great video !! Thank you for putting this together!

[kristhenwilliams]

Thank you 🙏 I really needed this right now ❤️

[remshjgh]

I totally needed this! The video couldn’t have come out any sooner 😘 xoxo

[missxanum]

I also had such trauma, but now i realized more things after watching this video, From today i will live in reality not in tales 😍 Thank you a lot Hammasa

[cabinmusic]

When someone is abused most of their life, and has experienced only trauma bonds, can they become the abuser in a new relationship?

[MyChannel-hdwd]

I heard exactly the same words in another video !!

[khawlaalalcha]

Soooo deeep ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️thank you sooo much 👌🌹💯❤️😘

[rockykkxwhj]

I take one year and half to study narcissist abuse, I read the books and watched video on YouTube. The reasons why I do this ? Because I can not bear narcissist abuse, it is so hurting and I have been pain mood all the time, I have to find the reasons, now the narcissist discard me again, but I grow, and break the trauma bonding, I am not broken again, I am relax more than before.

[thybowllingman]

You say here to go no contact but you don’t recommend ghosting aka no contact, I’m confused. I commented earlier today and you replied which I am grateful for. I was talking about ghosting a toxic/hater/negative ex friend. I’ve stopped contact with this friend of mine, he was my closest friend and is my closest friend to date but for a while I’ve felt disconnected with him, our chats being one sided, I’m always in depth telling him how I am and telling him about my life problems and my goals/projects I’m working on ... yet on the flip side he rarely says much about his life. I often feel (always feel) like I have to manipulate the convo ... aka leave pauses or space in our convos or encourage him to talk about his life too. To share. I’ve recently been feeling like he’s indifferent to or wishes for the failure of my life goals or projects. At least to the point at which my success doesn’t succeed him. The last time I spoke to him was via video call (he’s in England I’m in Scotland COVID makes seeing each other difficult) and he seemed to be almost mocking my views when I was talking about politics and conspiracies/ alternative news. I ended our call early because I wasn’t enjoying our chat and the dynamic between us, it felt wired and as if we were at war with each other’s opinions; as if he just couldn’t stomach me having an alternative opinion on a news issue. And when I asked him to consider it he seemed evasive and dismissive of my suggestions. One - two weeks after he messaged me something like “Hows it going?”, I didn’t responded because I was leaving it until I felt like and if, I want to respond. Not too long after I posted something on my IG story and he commented something on my post which was in a similar tone as our last vid call that I ended although with the added tone of shaming my opinion and ultimately telling me not to post or share (do) what I was sharing. I replied “You do you. I’ll do me g.”

That was my last communication to him. That was my reaction to his comment on what I was sharing to my IG story and followers, it wasn’t directed at him even at all. I pretty sure either on that day or soon after I unfollowed him on IG, with the goal of giving myself some space from him and from seeing his IG story and therefore automatically clicking on it; it wasn’t to send a message or suggest and ending of our friendship. It was merely (as far as I remember) a selfish act of giving myself SPACE because I felt that in my gut, I now had all the evidence I needed to feel uncomfortable with our friendship relationship.

He soon after me unfollowing him, it appears, unfollowed me. I was disheartened because he seems to have just reacted so personally and decided to unfollow me without even asking my why I unfollowed or if something is up between us.

THAT’S THE BACKGROUND OF WHAT WENT ON.
One of the things that discourages me from calling home or writing to him to present him with feedback or closure as to why I stopped communicating is that; I feel like I am the one always taking care of the relationship, watering it, calling him up, carrying our conversations and he doesn’t seem to me enthusiastic enough about my life success as of recently which makes me start to doubt the mutuality and trustworthy transparency in our friendship.

If I un-ghost him and write or call him to give him closure; I feel like I am therefore enabling and encouraging myself to always be the mender of our friendship and for him to never have to be introspective and always be laid back, half a foot in the door type of thing.

.... 🌎🌎🔥 any insight you can add?

[casey_young_music]

Thank you. Very relatable. I am in it. Can’t believe I let her back in my life. I am completely isolated & feel defeated

[lamie]

Thanks for sharing great videos all the time 🌷can you plz do a video about how to stop living in the past and bring brain focus back to reality where we living x🌸